remember why

that is what the spirit of autumn is really all about. re-aligning our thoughts, words, and actions with our beliefs and values. and assessing what values we actually value.

a little anecdote from amanda about why we ask why

we have arrived in autumn, a time of nostalgia and remembrance. of honoring and letting go. of honing in and revering. of holding and appreciating. autumn asks us to make space and to take stock. to gather what we need and to release what we don’t. this requires reflection and honest assessment. what is deserving of our space, time and energy? what is still serving in this year, this season, this moment?

in the process of deciding what to keep and what to shed, we remember. we look back on our past and the patterns that we have uncovered in ourselves and say “you know what, i never really wore that shirt, why do i still have it?” or “every time i meet up with this friend, i feel drained, why do i say yes so often?” or “it’s really hard to fall asleep at night after i spend so much time scrolling, why do i torture myself?” these questions obviously get at various depths of our being, and some are easier to address than others. but you can extrapolate this concept to patterns in your own life and begin the process of autumning within yourself. remembering the past as a way of informing the future. turning inward in order to really get to know why. to understand your personal motivations and how they have shaped you over time. and also, how time has shaped you and your personal motivations. you may realize that something is still really important to you, but for a different reason. the value remains, the why has changed. 

in the summer of 2007, i decided to become vegan. i did it as a way to reduce my carbon footprint. i also decided to not drive my car. to walk or bike everywhere, carpool, or take public transit. my human impact mattered to me that much. fast forward a few months and i have now created a lactose-intolerant situation in my gut. my motivation for being vegan is no longer just about the climate, but about the way my body feels. and in 2012, learning more about the diet of the yogis and some extremist raw vegans, i had a year-long stint motivated by eating “pure light” in the form of only raw organic plants because my body is a temple. you are absolutely welcome to roll your eyes. the demise of my veganism started in the winter of 2020. i could not stop thinking about eggs. i let myself think about those runny yolks for weeks before i finally said to my now husband, “i’m going to do something in the kitchen, and when i come out, i don’t want you to say a word.” i went in his kitchen and fried up an over easy egg. and then he went in the kitchen and fried me up two more. because for those weeks i was thinking about eggs, i was actually not thinking about eggs… i was thinking about why i don’t eat them. and i didn’t have a good answer anymore. the climate, the way my body felt, they still mattered to me, but was not eating eggs going to make or break the melting glaciers? and what other actions did i need to bring into question? is continuing to do something because its just what i do/who i am a good enough reason to continue doing it? i’d been living behind the label and lost touch with my why. this is what i was thinking about when i was thinking about eggs. 

next came oysters, then steak, then tuna salad, then cheese. it’s been a weird journey but it has all been fueled by wondering why and remembering why. and even more than the why, taking stock of what matters and what has value in my life. i realized that what once served, no longer did. turns out, adding in these new foods made my body feel better (and if you remember, the way my body feels is very important to me!!!). chronic pains and muscle aches dissolved because i was feeding my body what it had long been asking for, but i hadn’t been listening to because of an old why. 

that is what the spirit of autumn is really all about. re-aligning our thoughts, words, and actions with our beliefs and values. and assessing what values we actually value. so as a studio, this October, we are carving out some space and time to remember why. why we show up to practice, why we show up to teach, and why we show up for this community. 

along the way you may uncover the many gems a movement and mindfulness practice offers you. you may remember. you may find the why’s of years past are not the same as the why’s of now. seasons change, the earth spins, the planet revolves and you evolve. the thing about remembering is the why’s of your past have made you wiser now. 

WRITTEN BY AMANDA BRIODY